My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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