i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
