my sisters under your porch take her home
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
