my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
