my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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