i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
