I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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