when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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