Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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