And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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