i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
