Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
