why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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