just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh god it's open bar.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
