Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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