I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
