I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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