i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
