I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize