My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize