God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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