I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
