at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize