Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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