she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
