The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
