he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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