you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
