if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.