I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize