4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.