im drinking this country out of the recession.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
