What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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