Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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