belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
