he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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