i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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