Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
