Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
how does that bad decision feel?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
