What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
