i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
