and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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