she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
