So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
