Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Randomize
