how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
