it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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