No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
