did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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