I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
