so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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