what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
