My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
