I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
