listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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