I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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