I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
