I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize