I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
