what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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