we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
