Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
