I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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