doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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