I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
