its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
