I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
